How to Get Away With Marriage
by HumHowellelujah
Summary: Dan works at a small office doing coffee runs. His boss, Mr. Lester, needs Dan to do him a favor while his parents are in town for the next couple of weeks.
1. Chapter I

**Summary:** Dan works at a small office doing coffee runs. His boss, Mr. Lester, needs Dan to do him a favor while his parents are in town for the next couple of weeks.

 **Genre/Tags:** Fake relationship, getting together, alternate universe

 **Word Count:** 2,377/?

 **Warnings:** Cussing? Pretty much for this chapter..

 **A/N:** HELLO this is my first chaptered fic EVER this is so exciting! (also pls don't hate for the title I laughed so hard when I came up with it, and it's actually really fitting for the plot which is weird) I already wrote out the next four chapters and I planned the plot for each chapter all the way up to chapter 11! And then I just wrote the rest as this one giant mess which I'll deal with later. I don't know how often I'll update this though? I'll try really hard to update this but it might be a little hard with this school year BUT I PROMISE I WILL TRY! I really hope you all enjoy it and give me lots of love because I'd really appreciate that so so so much!

The sunlight bursted through the window and seeped into the room through the blinds. A deafening screech of an alarm clock went off as a loud, yet muffled groan emitted from beneath the covers. From under the covers was a hand, barely sticking out due to the cold chill of the room, blindly tapping away on a phone for a snooze button. With difficulty, the young man finally hit snooze, causing the ear-splitting sound to seize.

Dan snuggled back into the comfort of his nest of blankets and drifted back into a peaceful slumber. Minutes passed and he did not hear his alarm ringing for the second time. Or third. Or fourth, and so on. It wasn't until his phone began vibrating on his nightstand that he had finally woken up.

Realizing that someone had been trying to call him, he once again stuck out his hand as much as he needed to to pick up his phone and answered the call.

"Hello?" He tiredly mumbled. He rubbed his bleary eyes and yawned quietly.

"Dan?! Are you sleeping? Do you know what time it is?!" A slightly agitated sounding voice said.

Dan sat up quickly, suddenly not caring about the cold at the moment. He glanced over to his clock on the wall and squinted to check for the time. He stared wide eyed as he sprung out of bed.

"Shit! Fucking hell, I did not mean this to happen, Louise. I swear. Look, I-" the brunet was cut off.

"I don't care what you have to say now. Just get your ass over here and then you can tell me your excuses later!" Louise ended the call before Dan had a chance to explain himself.

Dan sighed to himself before hurrying off to his bathroom. He didn't even bother with a shower as it would take too long. He looked in the mirror and groaned when he saw that he had his slight hobbit hair. He then searched for his straighteners and quickly plugged it in. While he waited, he took this time to find his clothes and brush his teeth.

After he was finished with about everything, it was 11:42. He grabbed his phone and keys and quickly left his flat that he shared with PJ. He arrived at the company building a little after 12. Quietly cursing to himself, he ran into the building, hoping he wouldn't be late.

Dan walked into the meeting room where his colleagues were sat down at a table. He made a glance around the room and noticed one person missing: his boss. _Good_ , he thought, _I just barely made it_. He looked again to find his friend. After walking around the table, she noticed his appearance.

"Nice to see that you've finally arrived," Louise said to him as he pulled up a chair.

"Yeah. Thanks for the wakeup call by the way. I honestly have no idea what the hell happened," Dan tried to explain.

"Yeah, whatever. It's not like it's the first time." She rolled her eyes.

Dan smiled sheepishly, she was right. He was known for being tardy due to sleeping in. It wasn't his fault though! His bed was just so cozy and brought comfort and kept him safe from the outside world. Or at least that's what he likes to think.

"So, when is Lester coming in?" Dan asked.

"I'm not sure. I'm surprised he isn't here yet though. He's usually on about how we don't get here on time. Like someone here." Louise coughed.

"Okay, rude. It's not like I'm actually important to this place," the brunet replied.

Louise patted his back. "Come on now. You're plenty important! Without you here, how could I ever drink my coffee?"

"Is that all I'm worth to you, Louise?" Dan faked hurt.

"Oh, shut up. The meeting will start soon," she said.

"I don't understand why I'm even here. Like you said, I'm just that guy who does coffee runs for everyone. I don't need to be here. The only other thing I do is run things down to the copier room or fix a clogged toilet - which is not my job by the way!" Dan exclaimed.

"If you're complaining so much, why don't you leave?" The lady gave him a hard stare.

Dan looked at her. "Please, you know I could never-"

"Hello! Sorry I was late, there was a cat crisis at my house. And I don't even own a cat!" Mr. Lester gave a cheeky laugh and scratched the back of his head.

Many exasperated sighs could be heard throughout the room. Of course, a guy like their boss could get into a situation like that. Mr. Lester laughed once again and headed to his designated seat. He placed his papers on the table and coughed loudly to catch everyone's attention. Once every person was looking at him, he began talking again.

"Okay, guys. I think we should address our first and most recurring problem, which is - wait." Mr. Lester stopped mid sentence and turned his head to Dan. "Oh, Dan? A coffee run would sound great right now, if you don't mind." The sentence itself suggested a hint of rudeness, yet he smiled and behind his glasses, Dan saw his eyes shining brightly, somehow.

Dan sat up from his chair and nodded. "Sure," he gritted out, also hoping it would go unnoticed by his boss. He pulled out a slip of paper and asked everyone what they wanted to have to drink that day. When the paper got finished passing around, the brunet ducked his head and walked out of the room. After a long wait in the elevator, he finally left the building and was on his way to the nearest café.

He checked the time. It was half after 12. He assumed the meeting will be over in another hour. For now, he most likely had about 10-20 minutes to get the desired drinks back to their respective owners. He started to run down the street, trying to make it to the store and back in time.

In the mean time, Dan decided to quietly rant to himself so no one would hear and think he's a freak. "Of course. That's the only reason why I was there, wasn't it? I'm not that fucking important." Dan began to mimic his boss's voice. "'Oh, Dan? A coffee run would sound great now.' I bet it would, wouldn't it? 'If you don't mind.' Fucking asshole. Of course I mind. I always mind! How could someone say something like that with that face? It's just not possible! And not fair! Fucking Lester."

He rolled his eyes to himself. For some odd reason, Mr. Lester always agitated Dan in some way. He wasn't a terrible boss. In fact, he was one of the best bosses anyone could ask for. He didn't give Dan unnecessary work to do, besides the coffee runs that is, but that was his job anyway. He wasn't the one who forced Dan to unclog toilets or clean the floors. Those were mostly his rude and obnoxious co-workers. But something about him made Dan so irritated sometimes. Perhaps it was his stupid smile that he has on his face 24/7 or the way he would greet everyone with a cheery voice in the mornings. His personality was even aggravating to him. He was just too nice and there's no way a normal human being could be that sweet. Someone could probably kill his family and he'd blame it on them having a bad day. And that is just plain _inhumane_. That's just what Dan thinks.

Dan walked into the café with the list in hand. The tiny shop was relatively empty at the moment, which Dan was glad for. He stepped up to the cashier and awkwardly handed the lady his paper. Dan sat down at a table near by and pulled out his phone to avoid any human interaction. It seemed to work as no one bothered him besides the lady who announced that his drinks were ready. He pocketed his phone to pay and pick up the drinks. Dan paid for the drinks with a card that the company issues him with for these specific coffee runs.

The brown headed man made his way back to the company building along with the drinks. He was struggling to keep them from spilling everywhere as he was a complete klutz. He barely made it back to the building alive and in time. It was almost 1 and he knew that the people in the meeting were waiting for their coffees.

Dan headed into the meeting room once again and opens the door. The room seemed to have quieted down as soon as he entered and Dan could only feel so embarrassed. He awkwardly shuffled to the table and set the drinks down and let his co-workers gather their drinks.

Lester patted Dan's back and smiles at him, "Thank you, Dan. I definitely need this right now." He took a sip and walked out of the room. He lazily waved his hand and said, "That should be all for today. Meeting dismissed. Great job everyone, let's work hard today!"

Louise shrugged when Dan gave her a strange look. She walked out and Dan followed after her. He doesn't exactly have his own office. He would just bother Louise all day before someone peeked their head through her door to ask for him as they all know that's where Dan is always at.

And that's what Dan does. The girl plopped onto her chair and begins working on her paperwork. While she's working, Dan made little conversation to not bore himself. It's a typical office day, so Dan is allowed to. Lester normally didn't mind as long as they both got what they needed to done.

"It's not even 1:40 yet. Please explain to me as to why the meeting was over so early?" Dan asked her.

She looked up and Dan saw a suspicious gleam in her eyes. "Huh? Oh - uh, hm. We just, you know, went over the usual and addressed new minor issues. Nothing to worry about. I think it's good that we have these meetings every once in a while anyway."

Dan didn't exactly look convinced. He crossed his arms. "Uh, huh. I don't think Lester would bother to make an entire meeting, if that was the case. He could have just sent out multiple emails. It would have been a lot easier. And it also wouldn't have costed me a coffee run!"

Louise laughed. "Oh, Dan. An extra coffee run won't kill you."

"Yeah, whatever. So, what was this new minor issue that you guys discussed then?" Dan asked.

Louise's typing stopped for a second before she continued clacking away. "We just talked about how our division of the company needs to worry more about our import costs."

"Wasn't that an issue for a while now?" Dan asked confusingly.

"Uhh-"

A worker poked his head through Louise's door. "Hey, Howell. Boss needs to see you."

Dan heard Louise sigh but decided to question her later. She turned around in her chair and said, "Have fun with Lester!" She gave him a wink. Dan gave her an even more confused look and walked past her.

Dan started to walk towards his way to Lester's office. He wondered what his boss could be asking him for. He wasn't a bad worker, so he couldn't be fired. But Dan didn't know that for sure so he started to worry about all of the other things he could have done to have gotten him fired. When he couldn't come up with any reason though, he thought that maybe he was being promoted or getting a better position in the company - which was most likely anything but his job currently. There wasn't really anything worse than the boy who makes coffee runs.

But he was honestly terrifyingly nervous at that moment. It was like he was applying for this job all over again. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

He heard a muffled, 'come in' and pushed the door open. "You called for me, sir?" He asked shakingly.

His boss must have noticed his tenseness because he gave out a laugh and said, "Relax, Dan. You can just call me Phil when it's just the two of us."

Dan nodded and let Phil continue. "So, Dan. You must be wondering why I called you in here, right?" Dan nodded again. "Well I have a slight... Problem."

Dan watched him carefully but raised his eyebrows. "What is this 'problem' you're speaking of?" Dan asked.

"My parents are coming in to town. They're staying for about two weeks," Phil said.

Dan blinked. "Oh, that's great."

"Right. Well, I haven't talked to them in years, due to family... issues, and they asked if I've settled down with anyone yet." Phil explained.

"That's uh, nice... I guess. That you got to catch up with them I mean," Dan said, ruffling his hair a bit.

Phil nodded and sat quietly for a few moments and looked as if he was deep in thought.

"I'm sorry, Phil, but what does this have to do with me?" Dan asked, breaking the awkward silence.

Phil gave him a look. "I'm getting to it. So I told them that I'm married, and now they want to meet my spouse."

Dan raised his eyebrow. This news surprised him. He hadn't known Phil was married. Hell, he wasn't sure before if he had a girlfriend or not.

"I didn't know you were married?" Dan meant to say this as a statement, but it came out more like a question.

Phil saw Dan giving him a confused look and so he sighed and continued. "I'm not."

If Dan wasn't confused from before, he sure was beyond confused by now. "Wait, why did you tell them that then?"

"I'm getting to it." Phil repeated. "I just need your help with something."

Dan looked at him strangely. "Okay... So what? What do you want me to do?"

Phil took a big sigh and looked Dan straight in the eyes. "Dan, will you marry me?"

 **A/N:** Okay I know this sounds lame but please love me. Idk when I'll post the next part. I'll also need a beta so if anyone is interested, please message me? But thanks for reading! Please leave me comments and stuff because that's what gets me going in life 3 Also, please check out my tumblr (humhowellelujah) and send me stuff yeah? Thank you!


	2. Chapter II

**Summary:** Dan works at a small office doing coffee runs. His boss, Mr. Lester, needs Dan to do him a favor while his parents are in town for the next couple of weeks.

 **Genre/Tags:** Fake relationship, getting together, alternate universe

 **Word Count:** 2,867

 **Warnings:** Strong language I guess

 **A/N:** Wooo! This is the second chapter of HTGAWM! I hope you all enjoyed the first part and like this one too :) also I'm American so I'm going to use US currency and things like that, I hope it isn't too bothersome? I'm sorry if it is..

Dan stood there, wide-eyed at what his boss had just said to him. He stared at him for a few seconds before screeching, "Wait. What?!"

Phil only sighed again. "Look. It's not real, obviously. I can forge a fake marriage certificate, ring, everything. In fact, I can have it done right away, I just need you to agree with this."

"Why me though?" Dan questioned.

Phil shrugged and gave Dan a cheeky smile. "I thought you'd be the most fitting."

Dan stared hard at him. "And why is that?"

The other man shrugged once again and continued to smile. Dan rolled his eyes but decided to ignore Phil's strange behavior for now.

"Okay, but why would I agree to do this?" Dan asked.

"I'll pay you."

Dan raised his eyebrows in interest. He does want to move out of his current flat. It wasn't that he didn't _like_ staying with PJ. Peej was one of his best mates after all. It was just that he didn't quite like it when he would bring home Chris and they would do certain _things._ Dan would often find himself waking up to obscene moaning and he didn't think he could handle it anymore.

He also liked the idea of independence. He wanted to live alone and he thought about it for a while now. He didn't like the thought of depending on others. He just wanted to live in solitude. But he didn't have enough money for it, which was why he was working as an office assistant while he was balancing school work from college. He was barely making it by and being paid to pretend to be someone's spouse for two weeks doesn't sound _that_ bad. Or at least that's what Dan thought.

"How much?" he asked carefully.

"However much you think you deserve," Phil replied almost instantly.

Dan took a deep breath. "So… What do you need me to do?"

Phil smiled at him. "I need you to take the title as my husband for as long as my parents are around. You're also going to have to live in my house the whole time, though. You know, us being 'married' and all." He stopped to think and placed a finger on his chin. "Umm… other than that? I don't know, just do husband-y stuff?"

Phil gave out a small giggle and Dan saw his tongue poking out a bit. For some unknown reason, just that small gesture made Dan want to punch the older man in the face.

"What if I'm not gay?" Dan blurted out. He didn't know why. It was an obvious and stupid question after all.

Phil gave out a loud laugh and said, "Please, Dan. I think everyone in the building knows that you're the most vibrant and flaming homosexual here."

Dan crossed his arms and huffed. "I didn't think it would have been that obvious though." Dan was lying, and he knew it.

Phil rolled his eyes. "Right. So is that a yes?"

Dan thought to himself. Even though he got the chance to be paid however much he wanted, it was still pretty strange. He'd have to pretend to be a stranger's husband for two weeks. Who knows what he has to do in that house. Not only that, he has to convince Phil's parents that they were a loving couple. It sounded like a really tough job. "I'll have to think about it."

Phil smiled. "Of course. Take as much time as you need. I'll just have to know by next week."

Dan nodded. "Thanks. Um. Is that all?" He asked.

"Yeah. You can take the day off, by the way," Phil said.

Dan eyed him strangely but didn't say a word. He left Phil's office and roamed back to where Louise would be.

He approached the room, he opened the door and slammed it loudly behind him as he entered the room. Louise jumped from her chair behind her desk.

"Jesus, Dan. Why did you do that?"

The brunet ignored her and proceeded to point a finger at her accusingly. " _You_ ," he said. "You knew, didn't you?"

Louise visibly blanched. She swallowed before speaking. "What are you talking about?" She gave out a nervous laugh.

Dan rolled his eyes at her. " _Please._ Don't even pretend now. You knew what Phil was up to."

Louise opened her mouth to speak, but Dan cut her off.

"In fact, everyone knows! I bet everyone in that so-called meeting knows, don't they? Well that's brilliant, isn't it? Now, everyone knows that their boss Lester asked little Dan to play husband."

"Look, I didn't want to tell you because Phil didn't want-" Louise stopped. "Wait, what?!" She shrieked.

Dan stared at her confusingly. "Isn't... Isn't that what Phil was telling you guys about?" He said unsurely.

The lady shook her head. "No! He was talking about promoting you! We were told to keep it a secret! What is this I'm hearing about 'Lester asking little Dan to play husband'?" She asked.

Dan's face began to burn as he slowly slumped to the ground. "I thought... Oh my god. Now I feel stupid."

"You're telling me," Louise said with a scoff.

Dan glared at her. Louise laughed and smiled at him. "Come on, now. What is it?" She asked him softly.

"Don't talk like that to me, I'm not a little kid."

"You sure are acting like one. Now, spit it out. What happened?" She asked eagerly.

Dan covered his face with his hands out of embarrassment. "He asked me to pretend to be his husband," he said, muffled by his hands.

"What?! But why?"

He threw his hands up in the air. "I don't know! His parents are going to stay at his house or something and I think he told them he was seeing someone, even though he _wasn't_ and now he wants me to pretend to be his beloved spouse!" Dan exclaimed.

Louise raised a hand to her mouth as she tried to stifle her laughter. Dan looked at her again. "Don't laugh! I don't know what to do, Louise. If I say no, he might fire me. And you know how much I need this job right now."

"Oh, please. You now he could never fire you. You're too sweet and everyone needs you here. And I do think that if you take on this 'task' that he's given you, you'll be promoted for real!"

"He said he'd pay me if I did this, actually," Dan said.

Louise gasped. "Are you serious? How much? You can finally move out if you do this, Dan! And hey, also a little reminder that you owe me over $200 because you wanted those shoes." Louise glared at him.

Dan laughed nervously. "Right. I'll get that back to you somehow. Those shoes were really nice, okay! It wasn't my fault. You know how I am about-"

"Don't change the subject, Dan! Do you know how much you're getting paid? What else are you getting out of this? Pretending to be someone's lover requires a lot of work, but I'm sure you'll get some bonuses if you pull this off though," Louise reasoned.

Dan raised his hands up in defense. "Woah, I never said I was even going to do this. And I don't know; he said he was going to pay me as much as I wanted, but I don't want to seem greedy and ask for too much. And yes, it is a lot of work! Which is why I'm probably going to say no."

Louise glared at him. "Don't say no! If you do this, you can finally get all the things you've wanted: a new flat, new clothes, maybe that promotion you've been wanting, better meals." Louise sighed. "Heck, I know you'll get that promotion for sure. And don't forget, your college tuitions will be easier to handle."

Dan frowned. "I hate it when you're right. It'd probably be so frustrating. I mean, I have to live in my boss's house for however long his parents are going to be here for and pretend I've known him for years in front of said parents. I'm terrible at lying." The brunet made flailing hand gestures. "And you know I'm terrible at lying! I'm even worse at acting. Why did Lester think this would be a good idea?"

"Because you're a little twink who would be perfect to play the role for Mr. Lester's man wife." Louise smiled at him.

Dam glared at her. "You are terrible." He turned around and began packing his items.

Louise immediately frowned. "Hey, where are you going? I didn't mean it, Dan."

Dan looked back at her. "Yeah, I know. Lester said I could have the rest of the day off. I was given some time to think about it."

"Oh."

He finished packing and said, "Alright. I'll see you Monday. I'll text you later, okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Today's Saturday." Louise pouted. "Lucky you. You get to go home early on a Saturday and you have your day off tomorrow."

"Yeah? Well, maybe if Lester asked you to be his wife, you'd be the lucky one instead."

Louise laughed as Dan walked towards the exit of her room.

Just as Dan was about to leave, Louise called out to him. "Bye, twink!"

He didn't say anything but gave her the finger before finally exiting the room.

Dan didn't really feel like calling a cab at that moment, so he decided to walk to the nearest train station, which really wasn't that far. But what was really a 5 minute walk, felt like an hour. Dan didn't care though. In fact, he barely even noticed.

He was lost in his own mind, thinking about the events that happened today. He kept debating to himself. _Was it worth it?_ He didn't really have enough information about what would happen if he agreed. Maybe if he knew a bit more of what Phil wanted him to do, then he wouldn't mind so much.

Dan got on his train and luckily, found himself a seat. He gave out a quiet sigh as he sat down. He decided that he had done enough thinking for the day. So, he pulled out his phone and proceeded to play all of his mobile phone games for the rest of the ride home.

The tall brunet man got off the train and was on his way back home. Once again, he didn't bother for a cab, and he liked the change for once. He laughed to himself when he realized that he never really did exercise enough and perhaps this would be better for him.

Dan unlocked the door to his flat and pushed it open. No one was there and that wasn't something he was used to. It was only because PJ usually returned to their flat before Dan did and it wasn't like PJ often went out on Saturdays. He only worked Monday through Fridays, as he was a grade school art teacher.

Dan pulled out his phone from his pocket to check the time. "Though it only is like 3 right now," he mused out loud.

PJ was probably out getting groceries or hanging out with Chris. Or maybe both. Dan decided to text his friend anyway.

 _To Peej_

hey where are you?

 _Sent 3:06PM_

While waiting for PJ to reply, he went up to his room to change into a comfier set of clothing. It wasn't until a couple minutes later before PJ replied messaged him back.

 _From Peej_

I'm just out with Chris picking up a few things. Why?

 _Received 3:11PM_

 _From Peej_

Are you home already?

 _Received 3:11PM_

 _I knew it._ Dan thought to himself. He decided what to text his friend back. He didn't want to tell him yet about what Phil asked him today. It's not like he didn't trust him. It was more so of Peej downright teasing him about it and he wasn't sure if he was prepared for that. Even worse, he'd probably tell Chris and then he would never hear the end of that. So for now, he decided to lay low about the whole situation.

 _To Peej_

yeah got sent home early

 _Sent 3:12PM_

Dan realized that that might've sounded a bit bad if PJ didn't know the context. He sent him another message.

 _To Peej_

don't worry i didn't get fired

 _Sent 3:12PM_

Dan's stomach growled. He groaned to himself. He forgot to eat breakfast this morning since he was such in a rush to get to work on time. He didn't stop to grab himself any lunch either. He figured he could make himself a quick sandwich to tame his hunger for now.

 _From Peej_

Oh, thank god.

 _Received 3:16PM_

He walked into the kitchen and got out his sandwich making supplies and hummed to himself. In the middle of making his sandwich, he heard another ding from his phone.

 _From Peej_

I'm about to grab some lunch, want anything?

 _Received 3:17PM_

Dan typed his reply with a slice of bread in between his teeth.

 _To Peej_

nah that's fine i'm making food for me rn

 _Sent 3:17PM_

He went back to his sandwich making before receiving another text.

 _From Peej_

Don't burn the house down

 _Received 3:18PM_

Dan took a bite from his sandwich and quickly replied.

 _To Peej_

thanks m8

 _Sent 3:19PM_

Dan didn't feel like texting his friend any longer and just wanted to relax for the rest of the day until PJ got home, so he sent him another final message.

 _To Peej_

it's just a sandwich anyway i'll see you when you get back don't die on your way here

 _Sent 3:19PM_

Dan heard another ding.

 _From Peej_

See you.

 _Received 3:20PM_

For the next 30 minutes, Dan lazily sat on his couch and scrolled mindlessly through tumblr. He didn't try to think anymore of Phil's offer. But he kept wondering what would happen to Phil if Dan refused. What could he do? His parents would still come over and they'll wonder where his beloved other is. Dan suddenly felt bad. He had to say yes, but then again, it wasn't exactly Dan's problem. And a boss couldn't just fire their employee just because they refused to do some insane personal task that they wanted them to do. It was a personal problem anyway, and they shouldn't bring that into the work area. Right? Dan sure hoped so.

PJ didn't arrive home until a little after 4 with, of course, his boyfriend, Chris. Dan sighed to himself. It wasn't like he didn't like Chris, no, not at all. Along with PJ, Chris was also one of his best friends. Just at this moment, Dan didn't feel like dealing with Chris's antics. He would always tease Dan on how tense he was, and how he was always worrying about his life, when he should instead just get himself laid.

Dan always told him to fuck off, but he never really listened. Peej often scolded his boyfriend, but Chris would always casually brush it off. It irritated Dan. It wasn't like Dan _couldn't_ get himself laid, he just chose not to. At this point in his life right now, he really didn't care, and he sometimes wished that Chris would get that through his thick head.

Pushing that thought aside, Dan decided that he had spent enough time slumping on his couch. He got up to greet his two best friends at the door.

"Hey!" Dan called out to the two of them.

They both turned their heads to the man.

"Hey Dan," PJ said as he walked into the kitchen.

"It's been awhile, hasn't it? Why don't you ever come and visit me?" Chris asked.

"I think I see you enough when Peej brings you over here, Chris," Dan said, only halfly joking.

"Well _I_ don't see you enough! So I think I should start living here from now on," Chris said.

"It's not like you don't already," Dan muttered under his breath. Unfortunately, Chris heard him.

"Aw, loosen up Dan! What's gotten into you?" Chris asked.

"I'm fine," Dan replied.

"You're so tense! Tough day at work?"

"It was literally nothing."

"Chris!" PJ called from the kitchen. Chris lifted his head towards the direction of the voice. "You want to help me with dinner?"

Chris groaned while Dan quietly sighed to himself in relief.

"Yeah, Chris. Why don't you cook dinner? If you're going to live here, you might as well," Dan said in a sarcastic encouraging tone.

Chris flipped him off and walked away into the kitchen. Dan smiled to himself and went back into his room.

After eating dinner that his friends had cooked him, Dan had safely hidden away from Chris and PJ for the rest of the night. He didn't want to explain to them what happened to him at work today. He honestly felt like he didn't have enough energy to tell them how crazy it was. So he went to his room and stayed on tumblr for the rest of the night until he eventually fell asleep.

 **A/N:** Okay I hope you guys liked this part. Not sure when the next part will be out? I'll probably post it when I'm done writing chapter vi. Might be next week or the next? Who knows? Thanks for reading though! 3 Please leave me comments and stuff because that's what gets me going in life. Also, please check out my tumblr (humhowellelujah) and send me stuff yeah? Thank you!


	3. Chapter III

**Summary:** Dan works at a small office doing coffee runs. His boss, Mr. Lester, needs Dan to do him a favor while his parents are in town for the next couple of weeks.

 **Genre/Tags:** Fake relationship, getting together, alternate universe

 **Words:** 3,044

 **Warnings:** idk not much

 **A/N:** Hi okay I know this is pretty late (yikes) but keep in mind that I'm a really busy person and the way I do things is like… I write a later chapter and then post the next chapter when I'm finished with that. So basically I just finished writing chapter 6 but I'm posting chapter 3 rn. Yeah idk I just don't like being behind and I know that sounds weird but pls be patient. Okay yeah. Here, enjoy this chapter ^^

The next day, Dan woke up late in the afternoon. He was exhausted from nothing, and he didn't know why. He hadn't done anything that was energy consuming. He shrugged it off and crawled out of bed while yawning. It was a little past one and he had slept at 3AM the night before. He was allowed to sleep in as it was his day off, and he decided that today would be a lazy Sunday for him.

Dan got up to check his phone and saw that he had seventeen unread messages from Louise.

"For god's sake, Louise," he said to no one in particular.

He opened up his messenger app and read through all of them.

 _From Louise_

Rise and shine, my cupcake!

 _Received 9:26AM_

 _From Louise_

How's my little gay boy doing this fine morning?

 _Received 9:58AM_

 _From Louise_

If you don't reply, I'm going to spam you all day until you do.

 _Received 10:12AM_

 _From Louise_

Daaaaan! Please text back, I'm bored without you here at work.

 _Received 10:23AM_

 _From Louise_

I need you to get me a coffee

 _Received 11:41AM_

Dan skimmed through the rest of the texts and finally read the latest one.

 _From Louise_

So are you going to do it?

 _Received 12:50PM_

Of course she had to ask him about that, he thought. He sent out a reply to her.

 _To Louise_

ffs louise idk and jesus i was SLEEPING you know something that normal human beings do when they're tired and have the day off from work

 _Sent 1:21PM_

He walked into the bathroom to wash up and brush his teeth. His phone immediately dinged and he opened it to reveal another text from Louise.

 _From Louise_

Sorry! I was just really bored. It's quiet in the office without you.

 _Received 1:22PM_

Dan quickly replied to her while he stuck his toothbrush in his mouth.

 _To Louise_

oh boohoo you'll live.

 _Sent 1:22PM_

Dan finished up brushing his teeth and after washing his mouth, his phone rang again. He assumed it was Louise, but almost had a heart attack when he saw that it was from Phil.

 _From Lester_

Hey, Dan! I just wanted to send you a quick message to ask you how you're doing today?

 _Received 1:27PM_

Dan raised his eyebrow in confusion. Why would Phil just randomly text him something like _that_ right now? For goodness sakes, it was his _off day_. Did people not understand what that meant? Clearly they didn't, and Phil was no exception either. But Dan knew Phil was doing this on purpose, he wanted to keep his deal in mind for Dan so he would think about it more. _What a prick_ , Dan thought. _What a really smart prick._

Could Dan really blame him? The man was in need. Dan weighed out his options, should he reply back to Phil right away, or wait a while?

 _Ding._

 _From Louise_

Why do you have to take days off, why can't you just stay here forever?

 _Received 1:30PM_

Dan got an idea. Even though it sounded silly, he decided to ring up his best friend. She most likely had nothing important to do in the office anyway, a little phone call wouldn't hurt.

" _Hello?_ " Louise said through the phone when she picked up.

"Hi Louise, what's up?" Dan asked her.

" _Just nothing, really. I'm actually done with my work right now. I'm waiting for an email to be sent to me,_ " she said.

"Oh that's good," Dan replied casually.

" _Yeah so, what are you doing?_ " She asked.

"Well, you know. I just woke up ten minutes ago. I brushed my teeth, I'm walking around in my room now. I'm bored," Dan said, stretching out his words.

" _Okay, Dan. Why did you call me? As much as you_ love _me and want to spend every single second of the day talking to me, you normally don't call me unless you need something. So spit it out,_ " she said bluntly.

It was true. Dan much preferred texting rather than talking on the phone, but for situations like these, he needed to make sure he was getting his point across and that people could understand him. He wanted a direct and specific answer and only did this through talking. It was absolutely serious business.

But Dan didn't know why he was stalling now. Maybe he felt a bit nervous or that Louise would just laugh at him. Phil _did_ send him a simple text. No more, no less. Yet, he was feeling so _strange_ about it.

He sighed deeply. "Phil sent me a message."

Dan had to pull the phone away from his ear as Louise let out a loud shriek. _For god's sake, she was in an office building. Have she no shame?_ Dan thought.

Dan still kept the phone a safe distance away as he could still hear bubbly laughter from the other side of the line.

Once Louise quieted down, she said, " _Okay, okay, okay. Sorry. I don't know why I did that. I don't know, I ship it, I guess._ "

Dan rolled his eyes. "There's nothing to ship."

" _Oh, that's what you think! Anyway, what did he say?_ " She asked eagerly.

"He just said that he wanted to leave me a message to ask how I'm doing. Like, what? Who does that?" Dan asked in disbelief.

Louise laughed softly. " _Aww, maybe he cares._ "

Dan scoffed. "No, he's definitely just trying to subtly remind me that he has a thing that he wants me to do. I give him kudos, though. It's a clever and secretive way to do so."

" _You just have to ruin everything, don't you?_ " Louise accused him.

"I'm just being real here, Louise."

" _Whatever. So, what did you say?_ " She asked.

"Well, that's the thing," Dan said quietly. "I don't know what to reply."

Louise let out a loud bark of laughter. " _Are you kidding me right now, Dan?_ "

Dan only sighed while Louise cackled on some more. Eventually, she quieted down. " _God, you're acting like a schoolgirl, Dan. This is so embarrassing._ "

Dan felt his cheeks warm up. "Would you shut up? It's not like that. I just meant that I didn't know how to reply professionally without being lame and all of that stuff. You _know_ what I mean!"

Louise giggled. " _Mhm, of course that's what it is, Dan."_

Dan sighed. "You know what, I don't know why I called you for this. You're useless."

" _Aww, Dan! Stop being like that, I'm only teasing,_ " Louise said.

"Yeah, yeah. You just love doing that to me, don't you?" He asked.

" _Well, duh. You're my best friend and that's my job. What type of best friend would I be if I didn't do that to you?_ " She asked.

"An even better best friend," he replied.

Louise laughed. " _Shush you._ "

"Okay, but Louise, I still don't know what to say back to him. Help me here."

" _I don't get what's the big deal, Dan. Just say that you're doing fine. There's nothing else to it,_ " Louise said bluntly.

Dan groaned. "Ugh, you don't get it!"

" _What's there for me not to get?_ "

"He's probably expecting some kind of specific answer and I don't know what it is!"

" _Or maybe, just maybe, you're thinking way into this, just like you always do,_ " Louise said.

Dan sighed again.

" _You can literally send him a message that says, 'I'm doing fine today, thanks for asking, Phil!' And then you can ask how he's doing if you really want,_ " Louise gasped. " _Wow, that was so hard!_ "

"You make everything sound easy."

" _That's because it is, Dan._ "

Dan stayed quiet for a moment. "Are you sure?"

Louise laughed at him. " _Of course it is, I wouldn't tell you to do that if it wasn't._ "

"Okay. I'll text him back when I hang up with you."

" _Aww, little Daniel actually wants to stay on the phone with me and talk? I'm touched._ " Louise fake sniffled through the line.

Dan rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Louise."

" _Sorry! So, what's going on?_ " Louise asked him.

"I was just thinking-"

Louise interrupted him. " _Uh oh, that can't be good._ "

"Louise, I will literally punch you."

" _Kidding! Continue,_ " she urged on.

Dan sighed. "Right, so. I was thinking about the _thing_ , you know?"

" _Right. The_ thing _. What about the thing?_ " She asked.

"Should I," he hesitated. "Should I really do it? I mean like, he does need my help and all and I'm just a genuinely nice person and I need money and I think it may or may not be kind of fun, not that I like, think pretending to be a dude's husband is fun or anything. But you know, it'd probably be hard too-"

" _Dan,_ " Louise cut him off. " _Please, take a deep 're rambling._ "

"Shit." Dan shut his eyes closed. He took a deep breath and started again. "Sorry. I'm just so freaked out over this thing."

" _I can tell._ "

"I just don't know what to do!" Dan exclaimed.

" _Listen to me, Dan. You don't have to do it. If you don't, it's not your problem to deal with,_ " she said.

"I know, but then he'll have no one and I'll feel really bad because it could've been me," Dan whined.

Louise sighed. " _Did you try talking to PJ about this yet?_ "

"Oh, uh no. I didn't want to mention it to him." Dan frowned.

" _Why not?_ " Louise asked.

"I don't know. I didn't feel like explaining it and I was tired okay?" Dan rubbed his face with hands.

Louise paused and Dan heard shuffling sounds from the other side of the line.

" _I just got that email back,_ " Louise said. " _So look, here's what I want you to do. After I hang up, text Phil back that you're fine, okay?_ " Dan nodded even though his friend couldn't see him. " _And then after that, talk to PJ about it, and maybe he can help you. Got it?_ "

"I guess. I don't know if it'll help, but I'll try. But thanks, Louise. You're seriously the best," Dan said.

" _I know. I have to go now. Bye, Dan!_ "

"Bye."

Dan pulled the phone away from his ear and let out a loud groan.

He looked down at the phone in his hand and reread the text that Phil had sent him. He sighed and replied to him, his thumbs shaking.

He began typing out a text that read, "hey phil i'm alright thanks for asking you?" He quickly back spaced all of it. He thought the message seemed too laid back and the lack of capitalization and punctuations made it seem too informal. He didn't normally text like he should anyway, but he decided to start a new message again to make it seem like he actually cared enough to make sense.

 _To Lester_

Hey Phil. I'm doing fine, thank you for asking. How are you today?

 _Sent 1:59PM_

He hoped that this message didn't read as too formal and rather as casual and cool. He threw his phone on his bed before walking out of his room. He rounded the living room and trudged through the kitchen and found PJ sitting at the table lazily eating a bowl of cereal.

"Good morning," Dan said as he opened a cabinet door to pour himself a bowl as well.

PJ looked up at him and raised his brow before glancing at the nearby clock.

"Dan, it is 2 in the afternoon," the man said.

"Oh, right." Dan fumbled with the milk carton and cereal box. "So, I was talking to Louise a while ago."

"Oh? What did she say?" PJ asked.

"We were just - uh, talking about... Stuff," Dan stalled. He knew he had to tell his friend now.

PJ gave him a stare. He's known Dan long enough to know that Dan is up to something right now.

"What kind of _stuff_ , Dan?" PJ said in a tone way too similar to one used by an adult when speaking to a small child.

Dan rolled his eyes. He quickly poured himself some cereal and sat down next to his flatmate.

He sighed. "So there's this thing that happened yesterday that I didn't tell you about."

PJ looked at him. "So something bad _did_ happen? I knew it. What happened?"

"No, nothing bad happened. Well, I don't know if it's bad or not. Eh. It's maybe." Dan shrugged. "You know my boss, Phil, right?"

"Of course I do. The only reason you have that job right now was because _I_ knew Phil," PJ said.

Dan laughed to himself, remembering the memory of when Peej first introduced him to Phil. "Oh, yeah."

"How could you honestly forget that?" He asked.

Dan shrugged. "Right, so. Obviously you know Phil. And you know I work for him. And he's my boss-"

"Get to the point, Dan."

"Sorry! Yeah, sohewantsmetomarryhim," Dan said quickly while he shut his eyes tightly, scared of what Peej would say next. Louise freaked out when he told her, what would PJ say?

"What?" Dan heard PJ say slowly. "He wants to what now?"

"It's not what you think. I mean, like, he doesn't like me like that." Dan shook his head. "Oh, god no."

"What could this possibly mean, Dan? Please tell me," PJ said.

At this point, PJ had already stopped eating his cereal and gave Dan his full attention. Dan didn't know why he even bothered with the cereal in the first place. He only took a maximum of four bites before speaking about the whole subject.

"Look, his parents are in town and I guess he sort of told them that he's married? But he's kind of not, so he wants me to be his pretend husband during the time his parents are over," Dan said in one big breath.

PJ stared at him and processed the new information. "Okay, first off, breathe. Secondly, why you?"

"I don't know!" Dan flailed his arms around.

"Maybe he has a sort of liking towards you," PJ suggested before turning back to his cereal.

"PJ, please." Dan gave him a look.

"What? You don't ever know." PJ held his hands up defensively.

Dan buried his face into his hands and let out a groan. "Not you too."

"What?" PJ asked confusingly.

"Uh - nothing." Dan sat up. "Anyway, I'm conflicted."

"How so? Please do tell, Dan," PJ said in a sarcastic tone.

Dan rolled his eyes again. "Well, it's just basically this deal that he made with me. If I pretend to be his husband for as long as his parents are there, he'll pay me."

PJ widened his eyes. "Woah, wait what? How much?"

"I don't know. He said however much I wanted. But that sounds good right?" Dan asked him.

PJ nodded.

"Well, there's always a catch. For one, I have to pretend to _be someone's husband_ , for god's sake! Secondly, I have to live in his house that I am completely unfamiliar with while his parents are there and basically lie and act in front of them. Not only that, we probably have to fake dates or tell imaginary moments that we shared with his parents. Oh, and not to forget, we have to pretend that we had a beautiful wedding that has _never existed_. Do you see my problem here?"

"No, not really." Dan glared at PJ. "I'm kidding."

"What do you think I should do? You're smart, PJ!" Dan said exasperatedly.

"I may be smart, but I'm not that smart. And also, this has nothing to do with the levels of intellect. This is just a decision that'd be best for you," PJ said.

"Okay, and what do you think that decision is, Almighty PJ?" Dan asked sarcastically.

PJ rolled his eyes. "You like challenges, don't you? I say take this challenge on."

"But this would be extremely hard! This isn't even a challenge anymore, it's like a life changing thing. This is critical. I don't know if I can do this," Dan said.

"Sure you can. You'll just stay at his house for two weeks or so or however long his parents are staying and you can tackle this. You and Phil should discuss what you're going to say beforehand, it shouldn't be that hard. And don't kid yourself, you're a very good liar when you want to be," PJ said.

Dan stared at his friend across the table for a long moment. "You just want the flat to yourself, don't you?"

PJ scoffed. "What? No!"

"Yeah, you do! Why would you be so encouraging? You want Chris to be here while I'm gone and you don't have to worry about me and everything's just perfect for you for two weeks while I'm in hell trying to lie my way through Phil's parents' hearts. That's exactly what you want. Don't you lie to me," Dan said accusingly.

PJ threw his hands up defensively. "I was not thinking that. I honestly believe that you can do this and that it'd be good for you. You said you wanted to move out, right?" Dan nodded. "With the way the economy is now, flat prices will stay high, but you can possibly find a rather decent place when Phil pays you a bit extra money if you just take the deal."

Dan thought about it for a while. "You really think this would be a good opportunity for me?" He asked quietly.

"Of course, I wouldn't tell you that if it was wasting your time. You know I just want the best for you." PJ reached across the table and rested his hand on Dan's shoulder.

"But the final decision is always yours. Either way, I'll support you in every way possible. I'll encourage you to go up to your fullest potential," PJ said.

"Peej, you're making this very motivational and all, but I think that's just unnecessary," Dan said.

"I'm just trying to help. So what will you do?" PJ asked.

Dan stayed quiet for a few moments and really thought to himself. His brows scrunched up and PJ could tell that Dan was in deep thought.

"I think I'm... I think I'll do it," Dan finally said.

 **A/N:** Hi hello again I see that you have read this lame cliche trash chapter and survived. Alrighty! Thanks for that! I probably **will not** post the next chapter by next week. I have a lot going on so it will take a while for me to get back on track. Thank you for reading this though and I really do appreciate all of the positive feedback that I've been getting 3 Please leave favorites and comments because that's what gets me going in life 3 Also, please check out my tumblr (humhowellelujah) and send me stuff yeah? Thank you!


	4. Chapter IV

Summary: Dan works at a small office doing coffee runs. His boss, Mr. Lester, needs Dan to do him a favor while his parents are in town for the next couple of weeks.

Genre/Tags: Fake relationship, getting together, alternate universe

Words: 1,929

A/N: Heya! So I think I finally figured out how often I'm going to update this fic. I'm thinking maybe every 2-3 weeks? I know that sounds really long but I'm sorry. There's not really much I can do lol plus I'm a slow writer? Okay well here's chapter four. And also, major thanks to cynx-17-kh and dansduvet on tumblr for helping me edit this chapter! So give your love to them. They're awesome people 3

Later that day after having his conversation with PJ, Dan told himself that he would call Louise and tell her his final decision. It was pretty late in the evening, and Dan figured Louise was getting ready for bed around this time. He thought it would be okay to have a quick conversation and decided to just ring her up.

" _Hello?_ " The woman said from the other side of the line as she picked up.

"Hey, Louise!" Dan said in a fake excited voice.

" _Oh, hello Dan!_ " Louise said back, imitating his tone. " _What a lovely surprise! Why are you calling me this late?_ "

"Well. I have some news. So, guess what?" He asked while continuing with the same voice.

" _Alright, cut to the chase, kid. I don't have time for this,_ " Louise said through the phone.

"Rude," he muttered softly.

" _Heard that._ "

"Okay, so…" Dan took a shaky breath. "Looks like I'm going to pretend to be someone's gay lover for a while."

Louise giggled. " _I already knew you were going to take up on the offer anyway._ "

"Whatever. So this is for real now. I need to say goodbye to my life for a few weeks. Isn't that being married is all about?" Dan laughed nervously.

" _Shut up, don't be such a bum about it. Maybe it'll be fun. Who knows? Maybe you'll finally find true love along the way!_ "

"Now how will that even happen?" Dan asked.

" _You'll never know what'll happen between you two_ ," the woman said suggestively.

"You need to stop reading fanfictions on the internet, Louise."

" _Never! So when will you tell our dearest boss, Philip?_ "

"Oh yeah. Good point. Maybe tomorrow when I go into work," Dan said. "Oh god… I don't think I'm prepared for that."

" _What do you mean?_ " Louise asked.

"What the hell am I supposed to say to him?" Dan paused. "'Hi, you know that thing you asked me to do? Yeah, well I _guess_ I can be your husband for a few weeks.'"

Louise laughed.

"That'd be so awkward!" Dan exclaimed, taking her laughter as a sign of affirmation.

" _I'm sure you'll be fine! Just go knock on his door and tell him that you'll do it. That's it. Just that. It'll be that easy, come on Dan,_ " Louise said encouragingly.

"Easier said than done, Louise. Not everyone is outgoing like you, remember?"

" _You don't need to be outgoing to tell your boss that you're agreeing to help him out by being his lover for a while._ "

"Yeah, yeah. Well, I'll see you at work tomorrow."

" _Mhm. Goodnight Dan!_ "

"Goodnight." Dan hung up the phone.

The next day, Dan woke up to the blaring sound of his alarm. Except this time, he actually stayed awake instead of hitting the snooze button. He felt a bit proud of himself.

He lazily rolled out of bed and went through his usual routine of work mornings: get dressed, brush his teeth, fix his hair, eat breakfast, and get to work.

When he got to work, he finally remembered that he was supposed to tell a certain someone that he has agreed to do that certain someone a very big favor. Realization hit him and Dan began to feel nervous as he slowly approached the building. Dan figured that he could go to Louise's office first to stall for a while but he knew that she'd know what he was trying to do in the first two minutes. He could still give it a shot, and he could also ask for moral support before he leaves anyway.

Dan walked through the building and reached Louise's room and knocked twice before opening the door.

"What's the point of knocking if you're not even going to wait for me to answer?" Louise asked, not looking away from her computer as she busily clicked at her keyboard.

Dan shrugged even though Louise probably couldn't see him. "I don't know but hey, I woke up on time today - without your help." He started pointing at her in victory. "Ha, in your face!"

Louise finally stopped typing and looked up at him. She raised her brow. "Is that something to be proud of?"

"For me?" Dan pretended to think. "Yeah."

The woman only shook her head but Dan knew that Louise knew he was right.

"Isn't there something that you need to do?" She asked innocently.

"Uhh - um. No...?" He trailed off.

"Hmm, that's funny. I believe that there is something that you need to be doing and I think it's rather important too," she said.

Dan sighed. "Okay, I just came in here for two things. I needed to stall and I also need moral support."

"Don't you worry, I'm all the moral support you need. Now go get em, tiger." Louise stood up and walked towards Dan to push him out of her office.

"Please don't ever say that again." Dan cringed.

"I will say it again if you don't go right now." Louise threatened.

Dan held up his arms defensively. "Alright, alright. I'm going."

The brown haired man walked into the hallway and nervously glanced at the other people passing by him. His co-workers stared at him while he made his way to Phil's office, as if they were questioning why the coffee boy was going to their boss's office.

Dan awkwardly avoided their glares and continued down the hall until he finally reached his destination. He was right in front of Phil's office and he didn't know why, but he was more nervous than ever.

 _Here we go..._

He raised his fist and quickly knocked three times. Dan waited a few seconds before heading his boss's deep voice.

" _Come in_."

Dan took a deep breath before turning the door handle and entering the room. There he saw Phil staring intently at his computer screen, probably going over important files, before noticing that the younger man was in the room.

"Why hello there, Dan!" His boss said too cheerfully.

Dan forced a smile and said, "Hi."

And soon after, the two men stayed in silence. Dan stood there awkwardly, swaying from left to right, while nervously tapping his fingers on the side of his legs to somewhat calm his nerves. The older man was still typing away at his keyboard, seemingly ignoring the other male's presence for a moment.

"So what brings you here?" Phil asked politely, finally breaking the silence.

The younger pursed his lips. He already knew what Phil was doing. He was being too nice and he was hoping Dan would agree to help him. Dan knew that Phil knew _._ Phil knew _exactly_ why Dan was in that room right now, but of course he had to play it innocent. _Good tactic_ , Dan thought.

"I came here to talk to you about the... The thing?" Dan said, realizing how stupid he really sounded only seconds after.

His boss took off his glasses and set them carefully on his desk. Phil gestured to the chair in front of him. "Why don't you take a seat, Dan?" Phil offered while flashing Dan a bright smile, teeth and all.

The brunet complied and finally sat down after jittering for the past few minutes.

"So what is it?" Phil asked, his smile still unwavering.

Dan gulped and took a quick moment to rethink his decision. But he couldn't back out now, he was already here in Phil's office and had already told Louise and PJ that he'd do this. He wanted to get his promotion and he was sure he was going to get it after this. So Dan pushed any discouraging thoughts in the back of his mind before thinking, _fuck it_.

He took a deep breath. "I'll do it."

Dan had meant to say it more confidentially, but he thought it came out more shaky than he had intended. Hopefully Phil wouldn't notice, he thought.

But now he held his breath. He bit his lip in anticipation as he waited for his boss to say something, anything. He closed his eyes shut.

Then he heard a deep laugh erupting from the man sitting across him. Dan opened his eyes. He stared at Phil in a questioning manner, thoroughly confused..

After Phil had calmed down, he wiped away his tears from the laughter.

"I was getting worried. I was afraid you'd say no. I wouldn't know what to do then." Phil laughed again. "Ah, I'm just so glad and so relieved. Thank you. This means a lot to me, Dan. I really appreciate what you're doing for me."

Dan feels a blush forming on his cheeks. He scratches his neck.

"It's not a big deal, right? It's not like we're actually married anyway," he laughed nervously.

Phil smiles softly, "Yeah..."

Dan coughed. "So what now?"

Phil sat up quickly, alarmed by the sudden question. "Oh. Ah, yes. Hmm, I'll give you my personal mobile number and I can text you to meet up somewhere so we can discuss that. If you're okay with that, that is."

"Yeah, sure I'm fine with that."

"That's great. I just didn't want to talk about this now since we're both still at work and should be doing our job. And I don't believe this is really the environment to talk about that," Phil said.

"Of course. I agree." the younger replied.

His boss then took out a small slip of paper and quickly wrote something on it. He smiled once again at Dan and passed him the paper. "Alright, this is my number. You can send me a text right now and I'll get back to you later."

Dan took this as an opportunity to take out his phone and send Phil a short message before slipping his phone back into his pocket.

A ding soon followed after and Phil pulled out his phone. "Perfect. I'll send you a message later, okay? You can get back to work now."

Dan didn't bother to say anything else, he was too afraid he just might explode. He couldn't believe any of that had happened. He couldn't even believe it went as smoothly as it did. He was quite impressed with himself, he'd admit that.

He nodded and backed out of the black haired man's room and hurriedly ran back to Louise's office.

Dan didn't even bother to knock this time and just rushed into the room, almost making Louise jump out of her chair in shock.

"Jesus, Dan! What's gotten into you?" she stared at the brown headed man.

The man took deep breaths. "I can't believe I just did that. Louise, I just did it. I'm going to be someone's husband. What the hell did I just sign up for? Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god."

"Okay, okay - Dan. Calm down. It'll be okay. Stop worrying so much. You will be fine," Louise reassured him.

"I know, but what if I mess up? Oh god, I'm not prepared. What am I doing?" Dan asked himself.

"Your best," Louise snickered.

Dan glared at the blonde woman.

"I'm serious, Louise."

"I am too!" she said while throwing her hands in the air in defense. "You're a hard worker, and I know this is a _bit_ different from your usual work field, but I'm sure you'll do just fine. So stop worrying and go home and start packing or something."

Dan groaned. "I totally forgot about that too… I have to practically _move_ too! I shouldn't have agreed."

"Stop that. You're doing the right thing. Just go along with it, you'll be okay."

He sighed. "I hope so."

A/N: Thank you for reading this and I really do appreciate all of the positive feedback that I've been getting 3


	5. Chapter V

**Summary:** Dan works at a small office doing coffee runs. His boss, Mr. Lester, needs Dan to do him a favor while his parents are in town for the next couple of weeks.

 **Genre/Tags:** Fake relationship, getting together, alternate universe, slight homophobia (like not really but eh)

 **Words:** 2,391

 **A/N:** Hello no I am not dead. I've been really slow with writing lately so everything kinda sucks but that's okay because I managed to remember that I had to post this today lol

Dan's stomach twisted into a knot while he waited for his boss to arrive at the Starbucks that they planned to meet at. He thought he was totally prepared to meet with Phil today. He made sure he looked appropriate and suited for the situation. He hoped that wearing all black and a leather jacket in early autumn was okay.

He was still fidgeting in his seat and was twirling his thumbs around when Phil arrived. Dan didn't know whether to stand up and call out to Phil or just sit still until Phil finally realized where he was. The brunet looked around. The store was a bit busy and he didn't want to bring too much attention to himself. He hoped that Phil would recognize him in a small amount of time and just sit down with him.

Luckily for Dan, Phil found him fairly quick and promptly sat down across him.

"Hello Dan!" Phil exclaimed while smiling brightly at him.

"Hi," Dan said quietly.

The brown haired man took a short glance over the other man. It was unusual for Dan to see his boss out of his usual work attire. Right now, Phil was sporting a red bomber jacket and a tee underneath with a pair of black jeans and some shoes. Dan didn't want to admit it, but he did look really good and he was having a bit trouble to pay attention to Phil when he had been calling his name a couple times now.

"Sorry, what? I just got… distracted," Dan said sheepishly.

"So Dan, as I was saying… Before we get into anything… I know this is going to be very difficult, but I'm going to let you know right away that I'm going to help you as much as I can," Phil said.

Dan quirked an eyebrow up.

"I know that sounded weird, but if you ever feel uncomfortable, tell me okay?"

"Sure…"

"Alright, continuing on…" Phil coughed awkwardly. "I think we should start with all the details now right?"

Dan nodded in agreement.

"So, let me just tell you the entire story of how this came to be," Phil said.

 _Oh god. What did I sign up for?_ Dan said to himself.

"Don't you want to order something first? Maybe a coffee?" Dan asked.

"Ah, you're right! I'll be right back," he said while standing up. "Would you like anything?"

"Oh, no I'm fine." Dan denied his offer.

"Are you sure? It's my treat, come on." Phil edged on.

Dan sighed. "I guess you can get me a caramel macchiato?"

Phil smiled and went to buy the two men their drinks.

While Phil was gone, Dan pulled out his phone and noticed that he had received several texts from Louise.

 _From Louise  
_ Hello Dan!  
 _Received 7:14PM_

 _From Louise  
_ How's the date coming along?  
 _Received 7:16PM_

 _From Louise  
_ Is he being a gentleman and paying for you?  
 _Received 7:17PM_

 _From Louise_  
I'll hurt him if he doesn't treat you well tonight.  
 _Received 7:18PM_

Dan rolled his eyes and typed out a response.

 _To Louise_  
are you kidding me i already told you it's not a date ffs  
 _Sent 7:27PM_

Dan looked up and saw that Phil was still in line for their drinks.

 _Ding!_

 _From Louise  
_ It may as well be… And it's perfect too! The perfect first dates are always at cafes ;) You're lucky Dan.  
 _Received 7:28PM_

Dan saw Phil coming towards him with two drinks in his hands, so he quickly replied to Louise before putting away his phone.

 _To Louise  
_ pls explain  
 _Sent 7:28PM_

"I never knew you liked caramel macchiatos," Phil said as he placed down the two coffees.

"They're my favorite," Dan said, taking the drink. "Thanks."

"No problem." Phil sat down and slowly sipped on his drink before speaking again. "My parents and I used to be really close a long time ago."

Dan noted that Phil used past tense, so he decided to ask him, "What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well, as you may or may not be aware of, I'm gay. And my parents were a little bit... shocked when they found out about me. Of course they were accepting, but they didn't quite like the idea of it. I came out to them when I was 17. We didn't really talk much after that. We used to be _so_ close and I was really upset for a while." Phil paused. "Flash forward seven years and they decided to call me to tell me that they're going to be in town for a while. Of course I offered them to stay with me because even if they were a bit cold to me, they still cared. And I still care about them."

Phil sighed and Dan stayed quiet while listening to the older man.

"But then they asked if I had found a _girl_. After all of these years, and they still think that I'll end up with a beautiful and perfect girl. So I was a bit mad and ended up telling them that I married a man." Phil chuckled. "They were really surprised. I even surprised myself. It was stupid of me to do that though. Look at this huge hole I'm digging myself."

"So you just basically wanted to prove your parents wrong?" Dan asked slowly.

"I guess. It gets tiring… Even after seven years, it's still tiring." Phil admitted.

"I understand," Dan tried to say comfortingly.

"It's alright though. Maybe they'll get used to it when they see you around." Phil smiled. "Which reminds me… Since you're my 'husband' now, you're going to have to do everything a husband is supposed to do."

"Meaning?" Dan asked.

"Like… um… We might have to… kiss in front of them and yeah…" Phil's smile faltered and his voice trailed off.

Dan stared at the man like he was crazy. "What?"

Phil coughed and looked away with a slight blush on his cheeks. "I mean… It's only reasonable for you to do so. For us to really pull this off, I think we have to do it."

The brown haired man gulped audibly. "Okay," he replied shakily.

Phil looked back at him. "You'll be okay with that?"

"S-sure. It's not like I have any other choice."

"No no, if you're not comfortable, we don't have to."

"It's alright. It's just a kiss right?" Dan tried to force a smile.

The older man smiled softly. "Yeah, just a kiss."

"Anything else?" Dan asked.

"We'll have to come up with fake stuff probably," Phil replied.

"What do you mean by fake?"

"Like fake dates, fake memories... a fake wedding is most likely the most important one." Phil laughed.

"Yeah, you're right but how do we do that?"

"Well... let's see." Phil pulled out his phone and opened his note app and started typing. "We got married on... the 19th of October... in 2009."

"I was 18 in 2009, Phil."

Phil took a moment to think. "Well I was 22. And now you were too!"

"What?!" Dan almost screeched. Was he seriously suggesting that they lie about his age? He then looked around him and made sure no one noticed his yelling.

"Relax, it's not like my parents will ask for your birth certificate and as long as they don't see your licence, you'll be fine," Phil said nonchalantly, waving his hand.

"Okay I guess that could work. So I'm the same age as you now? That's interesting."

"You'd only be a few years older than your actual age, it's not so bad," Phil replied.

"Well…" Dan started.

"What?"

"Isn't that a bit… I don't know, _young_ to get married?"

"My parents wouldn't care. They never really have," Phil said.

"Right…" Dan said. "Anyway, so when they do ask me, they'll probably going to ask me if I was so sure you were the one and then what? I'm supposed to just straight up tell them that, 'Yes, you are the one for me and we're perfect for each other even though I'm only '24' and I have many years ahead of me and I'm still in school'? What if they ask me about my education, Phil?"

"Just tell them that you're trying to get into law school."

" _What?_ " Dan asked.

"Isn't that what you're trying to do now anyway?"

"Well yeah, but I haven't even graduated university yet, how am I supposed to tell them that I'm trying to get into law school when I'm not even close to that?!"

"They don't have to know that and technically it isn't a _lie_ ," Phil said.

"Yeah, like we aren't lying to them already," Dan said under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Dan replied. "This is all too much."

"I know, and I'm sorry but just go with it. Their main concern is probably if we're a normal couple like any other straight couples out there."

"Okay. So what else?" Dan asked.

"Hmm…" Phil looked back at his phone. "So yeah, we got married on the 19th of October of 2009. When did we meet?"

"Uhh, crap I don't know. Everything is just confusing to me because I'm actually four years younger than you," Dan said.

"We can say that we met in 2005? In 'our' senior year of high school. I can tell them that we met through a mutual friend," Phil suggested.

Dan groaned. "Oh god that's so weird. I was _fourteen_ in 2005. This makes it sound like I was dating some pedofile."

Phil laughed. "Don't think about it that way!"

"How can I not?"

"It's all fake. We can even say that you won a football championship."

"Now, that's a bit of a stretch." Dan laughed.

"Yeah, you're right. I think you'd pass out if you ran for more than two minutes," Phil teased.

"Rude." Dan smiled.

Despite being insanely nervous just minutes before, Dan now felt incredibly comfortable talking to the older man and found it easy to joke around with him. He never thought he'd actually be having a normal conversation with his boss before. Not like this was a typical conversation that other people had every day. But strangely enough, Dan kind of liked it.

"So I think we should just keep talking about set dates and facts about our relationship and then later we could get to know each other a bit more and tell each other our little quirks," Phil said.

"Why little quirks?" Dan asked confusingly.

"Have you never been in a relationship, Dan? Little quirks are everything!" Phil said.

"Uh, yeah… I have been in one," Dan said awkwardly. "Is it really?"

"Of course!" Phil exclaimed. "That's how you know a true relationship will last. People know each other's quirks, annoying and all, and still deal with them everyday."

"That's interesting, I guess."

"Yeah, we'll talk about it another day," Phil said. "Moving along. We should have a favorite place that we like to go on dates."

"Will they really ask about that?"

"Maybe," Phil shrugged. "Couldn't hurt to be prepared, you know?"

"Sure. I really like that cafe you make me go to practically everyday," Dan said.

"Well, it is a nice cafe," Phil replied.

"So I guess that's that. What else?" Dan asked.

Phil thought for a few moments and typed some things into his phone before looking up. "Ah! How could I forget the most important ones?"

Dan raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"How did we fall in love?" Phil asked while smiling sweetly.

Dan rolled his eyes. "Are you serious?"

"Of course! This is essential!"

"Of course it is," Dan muttered before suggesting, "Well, we can say that I didn't like you at first but you kept pestering me until I finally gave in?"

"Why do you have to be like this? That makes me sound annoying," Phil said.

"Because you are," Dan said.

Phil pouted.

"I'm kidding, Phil." Dan smiled and Phil gave out a laugh.

"Don't forget that I'm still your boss," Phil warned.

"I don't think you can fire me now since I'm doing this huge thing for you."

"Yeah, true. But still."

"Oh, I'm so afraid," Dan said while waving his hands back and forth.

"Shush, you. Next one, who asked who out?" Phil asked.

"Definitely you," the two men said at the same time before staring at the other, each shooting daggers with their eyes.

"You just said you'll be the one who annoyed me until I went out with you!" Dan exclaimed.

"No, _you_ said that. I never agreed. But if we're going off of that, then this is perfect. You could have gotten so tired of me pestering you until one day you just said, 'Ugh, fine. Go out with me, you nerd.' and then boom. Love." Phil explained.

"Ugh, fine."

" _See!_ "

Dan rolled his eyes. "Whatever. What's next?"

"When did we know we were crazily in love?" Phil asked.

Dan started laughing. "I did not expect that one. Does it have to be a specific date or anything or should it be something along the lines of 'It was when I stared into his eyes for longer than seventeen seconds'?"

"Both sound really specific according to you. But yeah, sure. You can say that," Phil smiled.

The black haired man finished typing their details onto his phone and checked the time while he was at it.

"Oh wow, it's been an hour. I didn't think we'd be here this long discussing this." Phil laughed nervously. "Sorry if I took up some of your time, Dan. You're probably really hungry now, aren't you? Would you like to join me for dinner, maybe?" Phil asked politely.

Dan widened his eyes. He had already spent an _hour_ with the man? He didn't even notice either. He initially thought it was because Phil was generally a fun guy who could make any social activity interesting, but he pushed that thought aside.

As nice as it would be to eat out for dinner tonight, Dan decided against it. He figured that PJ would need help cooking dinner if Chris wasn't there. He thought he could use that as an excuse.

"Sorry, but I have to get home. My flat mate probably needs help to cook," Dan said.

"Ah, that's a shame. Maybe next time then?" Phil suggested.

"Sure," Dan replied.

 **A/N:** Abrupt ending whoops. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. See ya in 2-3 weeks! Thanks for reading this chapter!


	6. Chapter VI

"Hey PJ, I'm back," Dan called out as he entered through the front door of his shared apartment.

"Hey," PJ greeted the other man from their living room. "Why were you out so late?"

"It's not that late," Dan said.

PJ glanced down at his watch before shrugging and saying, "Yeah I guess. You came right on time though. I was just about to make dinner. Want to help?"

"Sure." Dan went into the kitchen to start washing his hands and prepare for their meal.

"So what were you doing? You never told me," PJ said.

"Uhh - just got held up at work. You know..." Dan trailed off before changing the conversation. "So, what are you cooking?"

"Dan."

"What?" Dan asked.

"You know what. What are you hiding, hm?" PJ questioned him.

"Nothing! I was doing... work stuff."

Technically Dan wasn't lying. He was with his _boss_ who _employed_ him for _work_. But it's just that he wasn't talking to his boss about work related things. Dan didn't know why he felt the need to avoid the topic with his roommate but he sort of felt as if PJ would make fun of him in some way. Hopefully PJ wouldn't catch on and guess what he was actually up to. He'd most likely tease him more for trying to hide it.

"Was this 'work stuff' related to Phil?" PJ asked.

And of course he was just smart enough to figure it out though.

"Uhh - maybe?"

"Ah I see. So you were," PJ said. "Were you on a date? Is that why you didn't tell me? Why didn't you tell me? How was the date like? How did it go?"

"Woah, woah, woah. PJ, calm down. We didn't have a 'date' for fuck's sake," Dan reassured him. "We just talked about the thing, you know?"

"Is that what they're calling it nowadays?" PJ muttered while taking out some ingredients for their dinner.

"What?"

"Nothing," PJ said quickly. "What thing are you talking about?"

"The fake marriage thing. God PJ," Dan said.

"Oh, _that_ thing! Sorry. That's cool. Was there anything you guys talked about in particular?" He asked.

"We just talked about how we should make up some random stuff on how we met and things like that," Dan said uncomfortably.

"Yeah, that's pretty smart. His parents might question you."

"That's what I'm scared of, Peej. What if I don't know what to say?" Dan asked the other male.

PJ shook his head. "Dan, you'll be fine, are you kidding me? You'll do great."

"How do you know that? Do you even know what I have to do?" Dan asked.

PJ shrugged. "Not really. But knowing you, I'm sure you'll do really well. Believe it or not, but I have learned some things about you while you were here, you know."

Dan glared at the green eyed man. "Like what?"

"That you don't give yourself enough credit for the things that you do well. Trust me, you can do this and you'll do this just fine. So don't worry so much," PJ said.

Dan sighed. What PJ said didn't exactly help him with his troubles, but at least he could believe him for a bit before the real deal happens.

"So what else happened?" His friend asked.

"We just talked about stuff... and surprisingly enough, I think we got along quite well," Dan replied.

"See, I told you!" PJ exclaimed.

Dan stared at the other man. "Yes, we may have gotten along better, but that doesn't help me and my situation about lying and acting in front if his parents and worrying if I'll mess everything up."

"Hm, maybe you don't have to mess everything up," PJ started but Dan interrupted.

"That's what I'm hoping for!"

"Let me finish," PJ sighed. "Maybe Phil will help you along the way."

Dan felt his cheeks grow warmer when he recalled the event that occurred earlier. "Well, that is what he said."

"Explain," PJ demanded. He turned to give Dan his complete attention and crossed his arms, leaving their dinner behind, immediately forgotten.

Dan thought back to what Phil had told him earlier. "He just said that he'll help me if I'm uncomfortable. I don't get why you're making such a big deal."

PJ sighed and said, "Just when I thought you were going to be sappy, you completely let me down."

The younger male shrugged. "That's your fault for believing that."

"You're right, I should've known better," Peej said dramatically. "So what else did the two of you talk about?"

"Just nothing else besides that really. We were there for almost an hour surprisingly, then when he realized that we were there a bit later than he had intended. And he wanted to eat dinner…" Dan trailed off, hoping his friend would understand what he was trying to say without having to go through the embarrassment of actually saying it.

"So he asked you out to dinner?" PJ asked Dan while returning to his previous task of cutting the vegetables for their dinner.

"Mhm." Dan mentally thanked Peej for being that smart to figure it out.

"And you just said no?" PJ asked.

"Yep," Dan replied.

"Typical."

"What?" Dan looked at PJ confusedly.

"Why didn't you go?" PJ dodged the question and instead asked his own.

"We already spent like an hour with each other and I don't think I could handle another date with him," Dan said.

PJ looked up at him. "So it _was_ a date."

Dan groaned. "No! It wasn't a date. I just - ugh. You know what I mean."

"Sure, Dan," PJ said sarcastically.

Dan found himself at work, lounging around in Louise's office for a bit, like he usually did on a day morning. He was just about to do an errand that his colleague has asked him to do. He was trying to avoid getting Louise's attention so he wouldn't have to answer her insanely annoying and curious questions. Except that morning, before Louise could bombard her friend with a rush of questions, their boss pulled Dan out of her office.

"Wha-?!" Dan squawked as Phil hurried into the blonde's room and tugged on Dan's arm out of the office. He dragged the younger male, despite his many loud protests, towards his own office without saying a word explaining as to why he was kidnapping the other man.

When the two males finally arrived at Phil's office, Dan yanked his arm free from what Phil had held captive.

He turned to other man. The brunet saw worry flash into Phil's eyes, but he didn't want to ask anything about it to show concern.

"Would you _please_ explain what's going on right now?" Dan asked Phil instead in a slight angered tone.

"My parents are coming here early," Phil blurted out.

Dan widened his eyes and stared at Phil for a few seconds before yelling, "What?!"

Phil let out a groan and lightly tugged on his hair. "I don't know. They called me earlier this morning and apparently they want to be here earlier than planned to because after this, they're going to go on some vacation or something."

Dan started pacing back and forth. "When are they coming over?" He asked.

"In a couple of days," Phil started. "I'm so sorry Dan. I didn't think they'd be here this early. I wish they would have told me and we could've been more prepared for this."

The brown haired man exhaled loudly. "It's okay. We can do this. A couple of days is plenty of time right?"

"Yes! Of course. We just need to move your stuff in my place by today and then we can go from there," Phil stated.

"Alright. That sounds good, but how are we going to do that?" Dan asked.

"Umm," Phil thought quickly. "We're skipping work today. We're going to go to your apartment and I'm going to help you pack. You're staying at mine tonight."

Dan blinked. "But I share a flat with my friend. He'll be concerned and quite confused about this happening all so suddenly."

"That's okay," Phil reassured.

"But it's PJ!" Dan exclaimed. "Who's going to help him cook for dinner?"

"Just call Peej that you won't be home tonight. I'm sure he won't mind."

"But he's at work right now."

"I'm sure he won't mind," he repeated.

Dan groaned but obeyed his boss's request.

"Hey Peej?"

"Dan? I'm at work right now, I told you not to call me."

"Listen, I won't be coming home tonight."

"Wait, wha - Dan?!"

"Bye!" He then abruptly hung up.

Dan closed his eyes and sighed. He realized that he could've texted PJ, but he was just put on the spot by Phil so he felt the need to listen to him.

He looked back to Phil. "Okay, now what?"

The blue eyed male stared at him before saying one word, "Run."

"Wh-" Dan started to say but didn't have time to finish as Phil grabbed his arm again and began to quickly drag him out of the building and into the parking deck.

"Phil, Phil, Phil, stop. Wait. Stop," Dan said as they were running halfway through the parking deck. "Let go of my arm, it's starting to hurt."

Phil immediately halted and turned around to the younger male.

"Jesus Christ," Dan muttered while gently rubbing his arm where Phil may have left a bruise.

"I'm so sorry, are you okay?" He asked with concern in his eyes.

"Yes, I'm fine," Dan replied. "Why do you insist on dragging me everywhere?"

Phil continued walking and shrugged. "I don't know. It seemed faster that way."

"But do you have to have a death grip on me?"

Dan saw Phil's shoulders shake in front of him as he laughed.

"I'm sorry," the older man repeated. "It's not that I'm trying to. Sometimes I just get a bit rough or clumsy - which is something you'll have to remember by the way!"

Dan groaned. "Are you kidding me? Are these one of your little 'quirks' you were talking about last night?" Dan put up quotations for when he said quirks even though Phil was in front of him and couldn't see the gesture.

Dan thought it was a little silly though. In fact, he found this whole ordeal a bit silly. Of course he still stressed out about messing things up but besides that, everything was just silly. Maybe it was because it was involving Phil, and Dan couldn't help to feel more like a kid around him the more they spent time together. Dan couldn't complain, at least not like he used to. _And maybe it'll be for the better_ , Dan thought.

"Yes!" Phil exclaimed. "I told you. The quirks are extremely crucial to know. It's the most important!"

"Really," Dan said in disbelief. "The most important you say? More important than the, let's say entire fake marriage?"

"Nope, that's not important at all." Phil turned around to show Dan his flashing smile and Dan felt his stomach do a twirl.

Dan ignored the feeling and instead rolled his eyes. "Right. So where's your car? We've been walking for like hours."

"I'm sure it's been hours." Phil laughed. "But lucky for you, it's just right here!"

Phil made a turn and soon the two were in contact with Phil's vehicle. He walked to passenger side and opened the door for Dan.

"M'lady."

"No, please don't. Let's not." Dan groaned but got inside the car regardless.

Dan could hear Phil's deep laugh as he moved around the car to get into the driver's seat.

"So where to, captain?" Dan asked when Phil slid into his seat.

"Your flat first, remember?"

"Right. Oops," Dan said dumbly. "So uh, let's get going?"

Phil smiled at him and then proceeded to drive out of the parking deck and onto the road.


End file.
